At the top of Buenos Aires, past the airport, bordering the river, lies a land that is not like the rest of Argentina. In fact, it very much resembles Jerusalem. Except it’s small and made of plastic. This magical place is called Tierra Santa, or, as it is more commonly referred, Jesus land.
My friend and I arrived at Jesus land positively giddy with excitement on a Sunday afternoon, chosen, of course, by virtue of being the Lord’s day. The life-sized statues of herders, camels, and soldiers that adorned the entrance convinced us that we were in for a treat. After purchasing tickets (for about 7 dollars) and making our way into the park, we consulted our map and schedule. We decided to begin at the beginning: creation. We made it to the darkened theatre just in time. The Enya-esque music was ending, and dramatic percussion commenced. In awe, we watched as light was created and separated from darkness, land, water, and sky appeared, and large animatronic animals of all varieties materialized. Finally, green lasers began flashing around the room, the fog machines kicked up, and Adam and Eve emerged, strategically-located vines in place. Y era buneo.
Creation witnessed, we wandered through the rest of Palestine, witnessing many scenes from the life of Jesus along the way, some reminiscent of The Passion of the Christ in their goriness. And lest you think Jesus land is not inclusive, other religions were represented by a synagogue, a mosque, and an homage to Gandhi, respectively. Other highlights included a Solomon museum that featured plastic artifacts behind glass, a replica of the wailing wall complete with papers left by visitors, a decent Arab restaurant, and a Spectacular, which featured a three-person band and belly dancers galore.
To complete our biblical tour, we witnessed a showing of the hourly resurrection of Jesus. It was glorious. The majority of the crowd simply documented the event on their cell phone video cameras, but many spectators were visibly moved to tears, as the thirty-foot animatronic Jesus rose from a (plastic) mountain, while Handel’s Messiah blared. Spiritually fulfilled, we left this most holy of fake places. But I’ll return. I have several people who are coming to Buenos Aires this summer, and their vacation wouldn’t be complete without a visit to Tierra Santa. Afterwards, they’ll never be the same again.